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Post Info TOPIC: most amusing procedure lines


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most amusing procedure lines


"Complaints involving identity theft can be complex in nature stemming from a myriad of variables and permutations."

that made me chuckle, sounds like the 'Matrix'

 



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one of my all time favorites is to not carry your gun in a paper bag ........now I must wonder, how many times has that happened to warrant putting it in the PG



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brat4914 wrote:

one of my all time favorites is to not carry your gun in a paper bag ........now I must wonder, how many times has that happened to warrant putting it in the PG


 At least once someone did it.smile



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Lew Bookman wrote:
brat4914 wrote:

one of my all time favorites is to not carry your gun in a paper bag ........now I must wonder, how many times has that happened to warrant putting it in the PG


 At least once someone did it.smile


 And as long as there are people around that do stuff like that, that book will never shrink



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Here's my three submissions (paraphrasing):

1) "Members hired on or after January 1, 2007 must cover any visible tattoos while in uniform with a neutral-colored skin covering such as a sports wrap or bandage. The covering should be neutral in color and should conform to the skin tone of the wearer.  A limited exception based on the nature of the member's assignment may be granted in writing by the member's Commanding Officer. A copy of such approval will be filed in the member's personal folder."

2) (Prohibited items): "Members of the Service, uniformed and civilian, are prohibited from wearing any item of apparel which in any way identifies the wearer with the New York City Police Department, on or off duty.  Such prohibited items include but are not limited to the following:

    T-shirts

    Challenge Coins

    Hats

    Mugs

    Entryways to muster rooms, Department booths, boats, harbor launches

    Writing instruments

    Any other adornment or curio

3) (Admin Guide, Civilian lateness procedure): Commanding Officer: Issue warnings for the first 6 latenesses, issue discipline for the 7th lateness.



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Correction for #2...Department watercraft.



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I forgot these:

Automatic Badge Calling System: Instructions for dialing on rotary telephones

Vouchering autos: Remove coil wire from underneath hood (Assuming the vehicle is a 1957 Studebaker)

Stray dogs in the Transit system - DO NOT chase after the dog while attempting to secure it since it may run away from the perceived threat.

    -Do not wave the restraining pole (if use is necessary) in front of the dog, this will cause it to run away.



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"Each month, the NYS Division of Parole (part of NYS DOC now) will provide the NYC Police with a computer tape consisting of all active, delinquent and absconder cases..."


Computer tape, really?



-- Edited by Abeyance on Friday 6th of June 2014 09:39:50 PM

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That's a great one! There's one (forget what procedure) that mentions floppy disks.

Also NYNEX and Brooklyn Union Gas are mentioned in the PG/AG. 



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The material depicts actual or simulated sexual conduct, including acts of masturbation, sexual intercourse or physical contact with a persons clothed or unclothed genitals, pubic area, buttocks or if such person be a female, breasts; or sadomasochistic abuse including flagellation or torture by or upon a person clad in undergarments, a mask or bizarre costume or in the condition of being fettered, bound or otherwise physically restrained.

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Very good! It's hilarious seeing the word "flagellation" in the Patrol Guide!



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I once sent singing telegram to the CO of the medical division to tell him I was reporting sick outside of the resident counties.



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AG 316-01

PCT CO: Have police officers investigate complaints of theft of school equipment, including copper flashing and other items.


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"Having task force personnel use mobile tactics of speed, surprise and deception to accomplish their assignment"

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Abeyance
Where did u read that at?

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213

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Your read all the duties uh?

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Alphanumeric pagers are more expensive to rent than digital pagers. They should not be requested unless deemed necessary. The justification of the need for an alphanumeric pager MUST be included if it requested.



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"We don't choose to shoot people. People choose for us to shoot them." Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd

 

"The best way to not get shot by a New York City police officer is not carry a gun and not raise that gun toward them," William Bratton 

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